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I found you
before I found myself
and everybody knows
that’s not the way
to fall in love with someone
everybody knew but us
someone was bound to be ruined
something was bound to die

we fell apart
we fell apart
over and over
we kept falling apart
it’s no good
it’s no good, please
I should have said please
stop trying
somewhere in the middle

somewhere among the using
and the rehab
and the forcing
and the emotional rape
and all the other
people we’ve hurt
I constructed myself
with the pieces I thought
you’d given me
and you dressed me up
in words that quickly
got worn and threadbare
from all the soiling
and the washing
but I wore them proudly
I believed in you
I believed everything

loving, believing, forgiving
three things I thought
I learned firsthand from you
but you had always been
a liar and a coward
and you took so much more
than you ever gave:
my innocence, my human faith
my sense of right and wrong
and many years later
I’m still sorting out
what was real

but I made my way
to the other side, finally
no thanks to you
and you can’t take that away
I have purged you from me
almost completely
just a few silences left
some last fading words
and I’ll be free

marina_bylibertykifer .

by photographer Liberty Kifer


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