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            You were a part of me
    the good and the bad:

        the vision and the hunger
            the ambition and the greed
        the curiosity and
    the slow and certain descent
        into corruption

                    and that’s what
                made it hard to hate you
            what I loved about you
                was me and
                what I could do for you
            what I hated about you
                was what I hated about myself

                    a purge was almost impossible
    your destruction
        was my destruction

    we were so dangerously close
that I carried your name and
    you trusted me with your children

            I spoke your lies for you

        you pretended to care
    about the things I cared about
and used my sincerity
    to rob the world
                            you used me

                    and I was make-believing
                        I was changing the world
                            in spite of you
                        and through you

                    but lies run dry
        and though our inner evils
    contained each other,
        mine was never quite
            prepared to go that far

and I stopped lying to myself
    the day I told somebody
        about you
    about us
        and how dirty we are

I took responsibility
    for you, see

                and I had to quit doing that
            even at the cost of
            sounding holier-than-thou
                    and having the entire internet
                call me out and
            dig up all my past bad choices
                and proofs of madness

    it got worse before it got better
        but it’s better now
.

cameltrain_byjoshowens
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“Camel Train” by photographer Josh Owen
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