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If this is the last time, then,
isn’t it also true
that there’s no room for fear?
Doesn’t it follow that
you should give it
everything you’ve got,
that it should be to you
like a self-sustaining fire,
in its last moments,
something that offers itself
in full, with neither
reservation nor inhibition,
to be burned,
to be consumed,
to rise up and leave nothing
but ashes,
where there is nothing
no second chances
to stay behind for
or return to?
If this is the final test,
shouldn’t you believe, by now,
that you have all the answers,
all the means,
all the will to respond
to each remaining question
and stand by what you said
what you did
because there won’t be
any occasion to take it back
so you might as well mean it?
If nothing follows,
why spend precious time
on repairing
what consciously chose
to fall apart on you?
Aren’t you worth more than that?
If this is what you fought for,
if this is what you fell
on your knees begging for
all those hundreds of nights
all of those
eight rebirths ago,
isn’t it time to understand
that the purpose now rests
on your hands
to let go of as you see fit?
That yes, you are that powerful?
If you know what means
the most to you,
won’t you wait as long as it takes?
If this is the last dance,
what music are you hearing?
Who are you going home with?
Are you going to be prepared
for the darkest moment
the deadest silence that
precludes whatever comes next?
If there is no tomorrow,
if tomorrow is nothing
but a white absence,
what are you going to do
with all the words you haven’t said
all the good you haven’t done
all the love you saved
for the perfect moment
and never got to spend?
Where do tears fit,
where do all the other
inanities fit, all the frills
the missed lunches
the superficial wounds
whose inflicting and healing
never mattered and you
can’t even think where
you would have spent
the two pesos if you hadn’t
spent it on the BandAid it took
to let you go on
and not be bothered by it,
to let you forget it,
all the times you tripped
and fell and heard
everybody laugh?
If the next time you fall
you know you won’t get up,
why are you even thinking
why are you even thinking
about falling?
Why not just rise and rise
and rise, without thought
without wondering,
without anything
that could be some kind
of bad seed that could
take root in your heart
and take away from
what could be
the days that matter most
in all your life?
If it all boils down
to a choice between never
and forever,
then by all means,
make a choice.
Move the moment,
move the gray,
move any way,
matter.
Make it so
that the consequences can
matter to you.
.

forestgreen
.
untitled photo from the image bookmarking site, WeHeartIt
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