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Are you that cruel,
or that careless?
Did you not know better
or was the actual intention
to try to see how much
you could make me bleed?
You hit me
where it hurt the most
by using that word
but dammit,
that’s way below the belt, baby
and you know it
wasn’t it enough
that I confessed to you
I’ve been susPecting
something must be wrong with me
and I’ve always felt myself
a leSser person for it
and wish so bad
it would turn out to not be true?
And You did not even deserve
such candidness from me
and now you use it
so reCklessly
by calling me tHe word
I am most sensitive abOut
being called.

Nobody has the right
to use that word on anybody.

OK, you win.
I tap the canvas.
Count me out.
You’re better than me.
It was my fault, neither yours nor theirs.
I’m delusional.  I’m irrational.
I made a mess and I’m sorry.
Is that what you wanted to hear?
What do you need?
Tell me and I’ll do it
name the price and I’ll pay
what it takes
to let me stop bracing myself
wondering where the blows
are gonna land next.