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I bet some people
don’t even think about it.
So why does it have to be
the core of my existence?
What is it about me
that it has to be the shrine
I make an offering of my tears to
why does it have to be
the impenetrable wall
against which
all of my dreams and whims
should crash in utter tragedy?

What is the lesson
I should learn in all this?
How many midnight walks
how many hours of solitary reflection
how many miles of realization
leaving everybody else behind
will it take
before it is enough?

some of my friends tell me
it’s not even all that great

so why is it so difficult?
My knees are bleeding
but I want to understand.
Try me. Explain it to me.
How many tears
how many reincarnations into
the mocking temple of disappointment
how many deaths

is it forbidden?
Do I stop trying?
Just tell me if
there’s really nothing I can do
to prove worthy

Is it too much to ask?
If it’s not meant to be
stop dangling it in front of me
I know my life is Yours, but
You don’t have to add insult to injury

You know how strong I am
You know how weak I am

forever, please
for the next 54 years of my life
unless I die tomorrow
don’t mention it anymore
so that I can
pretend to forget
that the earth is round
and there is such a place