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Perfect faith
is a balance between
blind fanaticism
and vehement skepticism
an amalgam of
closing your grip
around the unspoken unknown
as you tread on the dark
and surrounding yourself
with proofs as tangible
as blood, sweat and tears
as you face the light.
Half of gospel truth
is for the eyes to see
the other half
lives only in the heart.
To other people,
awakening is gradual:
clouds shifting
rosebuds blooming
but for me
(God knows me too well,
I think)
peace was revealed
in a violent shaking
one fell sweep
and my eyes were open
it beat on my doors
and rattled my windows
relentless, unabated,
until everything I had once known
came pouring out
and at last I am empty
ready to be filled
by the calm
that was the only thing
I could hear in the end.

I stand before You
willing and eager
to begin again.