No, I haven’t fallen yet.
Once I do,
I know it’s all downhill from there:
losing sleep
giving twenty thousand interpretations
to every gesture
and spoken word
and how it is phrased
picking the pleasantest
and least accurate of all
to hold on to
and waking up to reality
full of reproaches
and feeling utterly stupid
for everything I believed

These are the days before that.
Telling my six hundred friends
how handsome you are
and how sweet
and how life would be
all sunshine and roses,
pretzels and beer
if we could just take a long walk
and have coffee somewhere

If I could help it
I would stay forever
in this state
of quiet timelessness
like a ball motionless in midair
and never fall
at all
the part where
I could still live without you
but sure wouldn’t want to