, , , , ,

I didn’t know if it was the last time I’d ever see you
But worst case scenario, I never would again
So that morning
I stood with the throng of people
waiting for the mall to open
the corniest thing
wearing my blue and green floral print dress
(which you had never seen)
and carrying an empty lunch box
to put the sisig in
because the mall makes the best-tasting sisig I ever had
and you hadn’t tried it yet.

Every morning of the years your heart was mine
I thought that way:
worst-case scenario, your love for me would end
any moment, like a thief in the night
so I spared no expense to make you happy
lest I run out of chances
and regret it

Every night of the years I had your heart
I thought that way:
worst case scenario, your love wouldn’t always be mine
stars might shift without a warning
and the season could fade just like that
and so I wept with every parting
clung to you like there was no tomorrow
lest I take your presence for granted
and later blame myself for it.

Worst case scenario, this is the end,
the real end.
Not merely what you said
that you only need some time apart.
Worst case scenario, you’re not coming back
but I beat that deadline,
don’t you see?
I passed the test.
I loved with all my heart
and I gave you all I’ve got
while it mattered.

Worst case scenario, you won’t read this,
but I don’t mind.
You know everything in here
before I even said it.
I already met the contingency